Sam's Thoughts

to dwell in fear

I leave for China on Sunday. Work related. Awesome opportunity.

I generally tell people this, and then pause and wait for their reactions.

“China? Wow! What are you doing in China?”

“Are you nervous to visit a new country?”

“Are you scared to travel alone?”

The same questions tend to arrive each time, and since they’re generally brought up during a time where I am already struggling to organize the list of things I need to do to get ready to leave in my mind, I push past the questions and answer with my usual response: “I’m just trying to survive.”

I often feel this way about the things in life that scare me: survival time.

I don’t dwell on the nerves or the terrified feeling that rushes to my brain every time I think a little too hard about the week ahead.

I learned early on that fear does nothing but complicate the task ahead.

As a severe introvert, there have been times in my life when I have had to stand up and speak in front of dozens. Times when I have had to travel to faraway places, without knowing a soul. Times when I have had to stretch myself physically, in ways I didn’t even know beforehand if I could handle.

If I push past the scared Samantha, and focus on the determined Samantha, the one who wants a fulfilling career, a happy home life, a debt-free existence, I don’t taste the fear in my mouth at all.

I taste success. I taste adventure. I taste memories.

I taste coming home to be reunited with the ones I love. I taste a day when I no longer owe Sallie Mae the majority of my paycheck. I taste falling asleep at night, fully content with the effort I put forth for years.

If I could impart any grain of wisdom today, it would be this:

To dwell in fear is to lose the sweet taste of success.

Don’t spend another minute worrying about tomorrow: it’ll take care of itself- with or without you.


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